More Powerful than Your Words
Telling yourself you have to
"struggle with this weight
issue for the rest of my life,"
is as good as telling yourself
there's no point in trying. "Why
bother? I'll just gain it right
back. It's no use. I might as
well eat more cake. Poor me. Life
is hard. You know the drill. Life's
Stop the struggle by stopping
the self talk that supports the
struggle. You've heard it before
- what you focus on is
what you receive. No
where is that more true than in
believing it is a struggle to
stay healthy. Who would want to
be healthy if it's such a horrible
struggle? Yet, you've probably
seen people who are fit, healthy
and happy? You might even know
a few. They seem to bounce when
they walk. They're animated, and
excited about life, and no, if
you asked them, they wouldn't
say it's a struggle. "What
do you mean," they'd ask?
Struggle? Nah, I like it this
way," and they'd mean it.
Forget the notion that you have
to struggle and eat celery sticks
for dinner. It's not true. Despite
the fact that you've lost the
weight before and gained it right
back too, despite your belief
that you can't even look at food
without gaining weight. All of
those thoughts are just more beliefs
that are keeping you stuck. What
you focus on becomes your reality.
What if You
Never Got Hungry?
I'm a prime example. I don't
struggle. Some days I eat a lot.
Some days not so much. Some days
very little. Yesterday I ate my
usual breakfast and then, strangely,
I just didn't feel hungry all
day. I felt different somehow.
Not ill, but I just didn't want
to eat. "What's up with this?,"
I thought to myself, but I decided
to just ride it out and see what
happened. Well, I'm here to tell
you that nothing happened. I lived
to tell another story, see another
day. Nothing fell from the sky
and the world didn't stop spinning
because I didn't eat much yesterday.
It was just another day.
Today I ate a few handfuls of
malted milk balls. No big deal
to me, but I know many of you
are thinking, "I'd never
be able to eat just some, I'd
have to eat them all," and
that is my point. Telling yourself
you can't eat "some,"
or as many as you want, but that
you believe you'd be compelled
to eat them all, no matter how
many there were is a belief that
is keeping you stuck. I don't
believe that to be true, and so,
for me it is not true.
Fundamental Belief with EFT
How do you change a fundamental
belief? You start with basic EFT
using it for everything that comes
up, even though it may not seem
related. Every worry, fear, doubt,
struggle. Use it on everything,
and those issues that do make
a difference in your eating will
start dissolving away. Try it
- what have you got to
lose but some weight?
Remember those healthy folks
I mentioned earlier? They don't
view how they eat or how much
they exercise as a struggle at
all. They are active because they
want to be active, and they eat
foods that make them feel great.
They probably eat a lot of the
same things you eat too - I'm
talking about everyday folks who
have learned to feel good about
themselves. None of them are perfect
- despite the common belief that
there is some "perfect"
body, it's just not true. Everyone
has a wrinkle here, extra skin
there. Every single one of us
is flawed in some way or another.
It's what makes us unique.
Choose to focus
on the benefits, rather than the
Everything worthwhile takes effort
- having a baby comes to mind.
All mothers will likely agree
that childbirth has its down side,
but the ultimate reward makes
it all worth it (yes, some women
feel great while pregnant, but
I wasn't one of them). Otherwise,
everyone would be a single child.
;-) Think about it.
Becoming a professional musician
or baseball player comes to many
who played Little League and started
practicing the piano when they
were very small. Tiger Woods was
only 3 or 4-years old when his
father first taught him to hold
a golf club. He also showed him
videos of professional golfers
when he sat in his high chair
eating his dinner (his dad was
a little odd, I'd say). Woods
started playing golf at such a
young age that he literally grew
up playing the game. He wanted
to play. His father undoubtedly
drove him to work harder at it
than most children would, but
he had to have a strong drive
of his own or he never would have
made it. But what if he'd hit
6-year's old and suddenly said
to himself, "I don't want
to practice. I hate golf. I wanna
play with my friends. I'll never
be any good at his stupid game."
Maybe things would have turned
out differently. The botttom line
though is he did what he did because
he wanted to (his parents obviously
had a lot to do with it too),
and the reward? Today he's considered
the most gifted golfer of all
time, and to what does he attribute
his success? The practice
and discipline of his mind.
He learned from one of his primary
coaches to harness the power of
his mind - using NLP and hypnosis
techniques (and likely he's since
started to use EFT as well). Learn
to use your mind to focus on the
results you want - or conversely
focus on avoiding what you do
not want, and you'll win your
prize, loving the process, instead
of dreading it.
How to Get
Starting from right now, go get
a box of toothpicks or something
similar. Match sticks would work
too, or marbles, or pencils, small
rocks or twigs from the yard.
Something small enough you can
carry it with you. Whenever you
catch yourself starting to say
something negative like, "I
don't want to ..., or, "I
hate ...," or "I'm gonna
strangle ..." Anything negative
you catch yourself saying or beginning
to say, whether towards yourself
or someone else doesn't matter.
Start noticing how often you're
feeding yourself negative energy.
Then, apply the STOP technique
as soon as you realize you are
doing it, you yell (to yourself)
STOP, and immediately replace
what you were saying with something
else. Here's what I mean:
"I hate having to
wash the ... STOP ... it's nice
getting a chance to stretch
and bend while the car gets
Yes, it's stiff and forced, at
first. Anytime you attempt to
change a behavior it will feel
forced. Just allow yourself to
learn to change your self talk,
and that early discomfort with
the process will pass. It will
start to be fun to "catch"
yourself. As soon as you start
doing it, you'll realize how often
you're been feeding yourself negativity,
and you'll also see how easily
you can change that habit.
Positive people tend to be happier
people. I'm not suggesting you
get a personality change, but
I am suggesting, if you ultimately
want to drop some weight and never
see it again that you change
your thinking from how much you'll
have to struggle to how much better
you're going to feel.
By Kathryn Martyn, M.NLP